So, I gained two pounds. Only exercising one day last week, and a big time cookie binge will do that to ya'. So I'm trying to get it right again this week. Week two of the running program. I ran 2 min./walked 1 yesterday. Today's a walk day. I'm oh, so, tired. I'll have to get it in sometime.

3-0 again today! 30 minute walk outside with the baby (who's 2 and not really a "baby" anymore). Now if only I hadn't made cookies to take to scouts today...

Two Days in A Row

It's progress. I didn't make it out of be this morning. I made the mistake of laying my head back down after the alarm went off, and next thing I knew the 7:00 am alarm was ringing. I wavered for a few hours, telling myself that I'd get it in later, maybe in the evening, but in the end I knew I wouldn't get on the treadmill tonight. I'd be tired. There would be dishes, and sewing to do. I just had to do it. The twins went out to play with friends (I feel a bit guilty about that), and Wrigley came to the basement to play while I did my 30 min walk/run per runner's world's schedule.

I've decided there are three things I want to accomplish each day; personal scripture study, personal prayers, get my exercise in. If I can do those three things I'll count it as a good day. Everything else is extra right now. Anyone who walks into my house will know it! Today I'm 3-0. Yea!

A New Goal

"Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start..."

I have to face the fact that my original weight loss/fitness goal has flown out the window. Rather than continue being frustrated with my back tracking, and how far I've not gotten, I've decided to move on. I'm going to recognize the success I had, I've kept off 17 of the 74 lbs. and start fresh. New road. New race. It's all up from here. I'm taking a tip from a friend and going back to the beginner's running program from runnersworld.com. 10k's and even 5k's sound dreadful at the moment. A 30 minute walk/run? That I can do.

I have to admit I'm not in the mental game yet. Due to physical/hormonal factors, I am tired all the time. The medications don't seem to being doing much to help. I've allowed myself to say sleep is better than exercise, but I don't feel any better when I manage to get it. I've been eating like crazy. The good stuff too- which is really code for "bad for me." I've had kind of a "stick it to 'em" attitude. The trouble is, the "'em" is me. Make sense? No? It doesn't to me either, and yet I continue. Our financial famine is showing signs of improvement, so hopefully the food selection will also improve in the near future. That might make eating right easier.

Other concerns I have; my hip. Old lady? Yes, but my right hip has been giving me trouble since I did the two hour Zumba-thon a couple months ago. I'll have to look into exercises again, to strengthen and protect it. Speaking of Zumba, my studio is closing down, so good-bye to Zumba and Pilates *snif* Also, I could use new shoes. I don't like the ones I'm wearing. Plus they're a year old.

The hubs has taken an interest in fitness lately. He and a friend are working out together. He's even counted his calories a number of times. Funny he had no interest during the year that I was doing well. Now he's making suggestions, and I'm rebelling.

Anyhoo... we'll see how the day goes. Experiment on the word right?

Lab Work

I've heard people say that we're all dying, very slowly. I'm just dying a little less slowly than most people.

Blood Sugars? Not better. Worse.
Thyroid? Fine.
Testosterone? Non-existant. Literally.
Progesterone? In the toilet.
Vitamin B12. Improving.
Vitamin D3. Improving.
Iron? Not where it should be.
Ferritin? What? What's that?

And, in addition my cholesterol has creeped out of "normal" range, my adrenal glands aren't doing whatever it is they're suppose to do, and my reflux is coming back. I'm tired and I just want to eat cookies.

Two Ton Heffer

So maybe not two tons but the 2 on the scale is not in a good position. I swore, never again. I never wanted to see that number again. Never. And yet there it was. I kept getting closer, and in the back of my head I thought, "as long as it's not 200 I'm still doing okay." But I'm still fat at 198, and 198 is only a weekend away from 200. Heck, I'm still fat at 194. I don't really start to look and feel better until I'm in the low 180's. I got to experience that for a few months. I felt pretty darn good. I think that was part of the problem. I developed an attitude of "good enough". I was exercising so much I could eat whatever. I looked good enough I was entitled to eat whatever. I'm so sad. So disappointed in myself. So hopeless. I feel like such a failure. And all I want to do is eat cookies.

I went to an addiction recovery class last week. I think I could use it, but for now I'll have to do the program at home. If I can commit myself to it. I can't quite wrap my head around it. It takes so much work. So much discipline. So much time! I know that even if I do everything I'm suppose to I'll be lucky to be down 15 lbs. by the end of the year. It'll take me til' next Summer to reach my ultimate goal. I'm right where I started. I've been 200 lbs. a hundred times. I thought I'd finally broken that. Guess not. I feel like, what's the point. I'll never make it.

It's been a rough stretch, full of cookies and intermittent exercise. Last week started out horribly with a major cookie binge. It was utterly embarrassing. I estimate 36 cookies within a 24 hour period. That included making a second batch to cover up the fact that most of the first batch was missing. If that's not addiction, I don't know what is. At least it prompted me to better myself. I ran on the treadmill Tuesday night for about an hour, Pilates Wednesday morning, ran outside Thursday morning, Zumbatoning Friday... I ate pretty well too. Until Saturday. Then I skipped exercise because I took a night shift helping a lady who just brought home Triplets. Then there were cookies at my twin mom's day out, and I helped myself. So... this week I'm hoping for 5 days workout. Baby steps. I went running, but it was not a good run. I walked half of it. I was heavy, slow, my right knee was not cooperating... but I did go out.

Good run yesterday. Somewhere between 3 and 4 miles. GREAT weather! Sore this morning. Zumba was also GRRRREAT this morning! Still eating crappy, but we'll get to that. Feeling energized at the moment.

There's a marathon relay I really want to do. Problem(s); I don't have my share of the $200 entry fee, neither do I have 4 team mates, and not sure I could do all 5.2 miles by next week. I could probably get the team together. Probably push through the miles, pretty sure the money will still be non existant whether the race is in one week or one hundred.

Today is not off to a great start. The kids kept me up most of the night, and I didn't get up early because I had a pliates class after the kids left for school this morning, but I forgot that Chloe had a dentist appointment scheduled, so there went my car. I think I'm going to be fat forever.

I'm not going to go in to the details of last week, or yesterday. Let's just say I need to find a new word that's worse than abysmal. Today's a weigh-in day. Gained a pound. Surprised it was 10. I keep expecting to see the dreaded 200 on the scale... anyhoo.



Pre-workout snack:

1 slice wheat toast w/ PB (180)

My good eating lasted until mid-afternoon, at which point I caved to the munchies and chocolate milk that was in the house. I did fine at dinner, but was hungry and bed time and instead of just going to bed, I thought, "oh, chocolate milk won't hurt" Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb (to the tune of the old Tums commercial)!

Okay. Not the best week for exercise, or food. I can see my face getting rounder as my jaw line merges with my neck, and my gut plumps up and spreads farther out into my lap. Can one say collosial failure? *sigh*

I went to Zumbatoning this morning. And I ate a descent breakfast. I have to have bloodwork done and visit the doctor in the next two weeks. It's so embarrassing to go and have to show how much I've gained instead of lost. *sigh again*

Weigh-in Day

Last week's routine was thrown off in preparation for and the duration of my trip to Denver! I got up at the awful hour of 5:30 am to go walking with my mom while I was there, still it only resulted in 3 days of exercise for the week. The trip was grrrrreat!

I was terrified to step on the scale this morning. Given last week's 5 lb. weight gain, and the delicious restaurants and yummy food prepared by my mom last week. I mustered up the courage and was surprised to see I'd dropped 4 lbs. Kind of amazing. Not sure how it happened.

This morning was the first day of school, which means it's time for mom to get back to her early morning routine. The alarm went off at 6 am, and I made it out the door by 6:30. Scriptures are at 7, so not enough time for a long run, but I got a couple miles in (in the literal sense of a "couple" meaning 2). It was chilly and windy. WINDY. I am not a fan of the wind. My ears always hurt by the time I get home from the wind blowing in them.

So, I did okay at breakfast, two pieces of wheat toast with peanut butter. Higher in calories and carbs than I should, but we're desperate for a trip to the store. Lunch kind of got away from me. At least the discipline part of it. I at 2- ugh! It's worse in print- that's TWO grilled cheese sandwiches and an apple. And I really just want to keep eating.

I was up late working last night. This home crafty business thing is going to kill me. I'm not even sure it's going to provide the $90/month I need to pay for preschool for the twins. I overslept and missed Pilates this morning. It's going to kill me next week for sure!

It's official. I'm going to be fat forever. I managed to gain 5 lbs. this week. I didn't expect progress because of last week's limited activity and good food binge, but I didn't expect to gain 5 lbs. I ran/walked today. *sigh*

Got to run in Park City this weekend. I was excited to run in a new place. Especially after several days off due to a cut on my toe that prevented me from wearing shoes. The altitude caught me off guard a little. I didn't expect it to be much different. It was a great run! Lasted about an hour, however far that took me. Now I was up there for a girls' weekend get away, which was GREAT, however, I ate my weight in delicious foodstuffs. I was so tired that I didn't get up this morning to run either. I'll have to do better tomorrow.

I'm in a funk these days. Too much life. I slept in yesterday, and even though my husband was home, I skipped my run. My eating was okay though. This morning I got my butt kicked at Pilates. Now for the eating. Cream of Wheat for breakfast. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. I don't know if I have it in me today...

I am so tired of the limitations in my kitchen. I am tired of saying okay, I have this meat I can use for dinner, trying to find recipes for it and not having ingredients to make anything. I am so tired of having my cupboards void of things that should be staples in the kitchen; chicken broth (or even granuals for that matter), soy sauce, teriyaki, basil, canned beans, canned pineapple, mandarin oranges, chicken breasts, mushrooms, olives, parmesean (any kind of cheese but cheddar blocks)... the list goes on. Today, I was looking for something to make with sausage. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING required a staple ingredient that I haven't had in my kitchen for months. We ended up with southern biscuits and gravy that are now residing like a lead brick in my stomach. How is one suppose to loose weight with this hurdle?

I ruined any good I did last week by looking for and making a doughnut recipe, that was irressistable. I made the recipe twice, once with my husband on Saturday night to see if it was any good, and again on Sunday with the kids. Great. Way. To. Go. So, I got up and went running this morning. Took a big break in the middle. I found a shady spot to pray and ponder over one of life's dilemmas, and then ran home. I made it up the dang hill! I had decided I wasn't going to eat any of the left over doughnuts, that decision lasted until I walked through the door. *sigh* The lack of will power is mind boggling.

I did kind of okay on my eating yesterday. Unless you count the four cookies I snitched, and the ice-cream I ate after dinner, oh and we went to a Chinese Buffet for our last date ever. It wasn't even good. Well, the ice-cream was. So were the cookies. Anyhoo... I went running this morning! Yeah for me! Somewhere between 3 and 4 miles. I did walk a chunk of it, but most of it was spent running.

Now for the eating portion of my day. It's such a long portion of the day. I started with a bowl of Raisin Bran, which I don't particularly like, but the only other option is Cheerios and that gets boring after a while. And it has more protein, but it also has higher mush potential. Bleh. The memory is getting worse as I type this. I think I may need something else to change the taste in the back of my throat.

I missed my exercise yesterday. I slept in because I was up so late the night before, and the evening was given to working at my little biz. Eating was not what it should have been either.

This morning I went to Zumba Toning. Eating well so far. We'll see if I can keep it up. 11:30 and I'm ready to run away from the children. Far, far, away...

Ouch! Pilates hurts...

That being said, I didn't do too bad with my eating yesterday. Now for today...

Weigh-in Day

I have no idea what number I'm on since I stopped counting months ago. Probably 60 or 70 something. Anyhoo...

I was so scared to step on the scale this morning. I was certain I had gained weight and was afraid of gaining enough to see the dreaded 200 flash upon my scale. I imagined myself spending the day curled up in a ball crying over my abysmal failure. Instead I was surprised to see that I'd lost 2 pounds! I'm really in disbelief, so I'm finding myself with a reserved excitement over it. That Zumba/Dance party must have burned literally a ka-jillion calories. I've certainly been sore enough.

This morning I got up and went running. I rolled my ankle on Friday, it didn't start bothering me until I wore heals to church yesterday. So I walked extra long in the beginning to ensure I was good and warmed up. It was buggin' for the first few blocks, but I took care to ensure my form was correct and paid close attention to how it was feeling. The discomfort disappeared, and all in all it was a good run. Not long. Just shy of 3 miles if you include all the walking. My ankle feels it now though.

So, now for the nutrition portion of fitness. Yesterday was horrible, lets see if I can do better today...

OINK!

Zumba Mania!

Saturday was the first ever National Day of Dance. To celebrate, my local fitness center, Elevate, put on a big shin dig, culminating in a 2+ hour Zumba fest. They had teachers from all over the state, as well as the creator of Zumba, and we got our groove on for a looooooong time. I made it through the whole two hours with some energy to spare, but I am sure feeling it now. OUCH! I'm sore. Of course I ruined my calorie burning fest with caramel corn over indulgence yesterday. I'm an addict you know...

Anyway... I was up really late last night, so I didn't make it up for my run this morning. We'll see if I manage to squish it in later. I haven't been very good about that. Started off the day with a carb bomb waffle. Good way to start the week :/

So, yesterday was a total waste. I was up really late the night before prepping for scouts, so I didn't get up in time for a run, and didn't squish it in later in the day because I was tired, and I'm trying get some house work done. I can't figure out how to do it all. Plus I finished off the goodies that were hiding. A gazillion calories I'm sure. I was already feeling bad about it, and felt even worse hearing my husband mutter under his breath about it.


Today's a new day. I was up late again sorting through clothes, trying to get everything rotated and take inventory before school starts (in three weeks). I went to my Zumba-toning class. I love it, but it kicked my bum this morning. Eating is another thing. I was so hungry when I got home I ate four blueberry-cottage cheese pancakes. Oink!

After eating so much, at a time that was closer to lunch than breakfast, I made the mistake of skipping lunch to make up for the calories. Plus I wasn't hungry. By dinner I was ravenous and ate accordingly. We watched a movie at a friend's house and I indulged on rice krispy treats, a cookie, and a handful of popcorn. Ugh...

I haven't been able to make myself sit down and record my food, much less my calories yet. I did okay eating yesterday. I kept myself from snacking, but my lunch had rice in it, and I ate too much bread at dinner. Not a good thing, but I didn't eat junk.

I went to pilates this morning. KILLER on the bum and legs today. All in the name of loosing the gut, and toning up those muscles.

So far, I haven't eaten the best stuff, due to lack of choice, but I'm keeping the proportions under control.

breakfast:
banana
scrambled eggs
toast

lunch:
PBJ
milk

Okay, diet's out the window today. My MIL brought a big plate of goodies leftover from their mission farewell. It's like putting scotch in front of an alcoholic...

Back Where I Started...

...almost anyway. I'm where I was 1 year ago next week. I year of hard work gone. All because I can't keep my eating under control. I'm waaaaay too close to 200 lbs. again. I never want to see that number again. Not for any reason. Including any potential pregnancy. I had gotten to the point where a size 14 was too big, but then it became tight, and now my 16's are snug. I have to get back on the ball before I have to drag the 18's out of the closet.

I've kept exercising, albeit, it's been inconsistent and lackluster, but I've been eating like a cow. I never did make 10k. I couldn't afford the entry fees this Summer, and kind of gave up. I was running about 4 miles every time I ran. I also played on a softball team this season, and I'm still going to Zumba and Pilates. I think I've become complacent. The size and weight I'd reached became "good enough" and I slacked off. I felt entitled to eat treats because I was working so hard. It's a drug. Sugar, I mean. There are days when I don't want to eat anything else but cookies. I'm suppose to be avoiding bad carbs and starches. That's why I'm on Glucophage, I have metabolic syndrome. It's a precursor to diabetes. I have to get my BMI down to 26 or I'm a total shoe in for the dreaded disease.

I quit writing, and keeping a food log because it's so time consuming, and sometimes life just gets in the way. I've been so busy with starting my own little business in an attempt to ease our financial famine. Add that to keeping up (barely, if at all) with 5 children, and trying to endure the stress and depression that comes with our current life circumstances, and it's just hard. I feel like I'm just falling through life. Food is hard too. Given our lot in life at the moment, I don't have much choice in the grocery department. What's available for our selection, is not the healthiest of choices. Not the most appetizing either, but I'm grateful to have something to feed my children, even as it expands our waistlines.

So, I'm making another attempt. No big, lofty goals at the moment, just to do what needs to be done every day. I went running this morning. Nothing big. Maybe 2 miles, but it was a good run. Now for the eating part of healthy living...

On the Way to 10k

I ran 5 miles this evening! 5 miles in under an hour. I don't remember the exact time. 50 something minutes. I was on the treadmill for a total of 68 minutes, 5.6 miles, and 831 calories. AND I did it at 11:00 pm. Late, I know, but I've missed the last two days due to illness, and late nights. My legs were driving me crazy from inactivity. I HAD to get a run in. Just happened to be a good one. I watched Project Runway, my new fave show, to pass the time. The only thing better would have been running outside. The weather has been perfect lately, during the day that is, but I never have anyone home to watch the kids so I can take advantage of it. But, I'm getting closer to 10k! Now, if I can just be more consistent in diet and exercise. For now, I'm beat. It's after midnight. I've got to shower and sleep so I can go to ZUMBA in the morning. It's going to be rough with only a few hours of recovery.

Weigh-in #42

Somehow I lost another pound this week. It can't be due to diet and exercise, because inspite of my great run last Tuesday, I ate crappy, slept horribly, and only exercised 3 of six days. It must be that I had a flu bug yesterday. I'm amazed and greatful. Now I have to work to earn that pound this week. As soon as I'm feeling 100% again...

Also, Stuart said he signed us up for his 15 year reunion this Summer. Ugh. That means I have until then to loose the rest of this weight. The weather is turning nice, I need to figure out how to get myself outside again. The treadmill is soooo unappealing these days. NO more excuses! NO more binging on candy! Time to drop the weight and tone this body. Swimsuit season is just around the corner.

Five

I wanted to note that I logged 5 miles on the treadmill last night. I didn't run all of it, but I wish I had. I walked .2 miles for warm up, and stopped running around 4.6, I think. It was a good run. 700 calories, 5 miles, and 60 minutes. My left hip is giving me grief this morning (that sounds so old lady), but worth it.

Weigh-in #41

I lost 3 lbs! Amazing! I exercised 5 out of 6 days last week, and tried to be careful with what I ate, even if I didn't get my calories counted every day (it's so tedious, and time consuming). Incredible. I don't know if I believe it. I stepped on the scale several times. I wasn't expecting it. This puts me right where I was before Christmas break (that only lasted until the first family party). 3 months to recover from Christmas. Other than that week, I haven't been here, since before I was pregnant with Chloe. That's been 11+ years! Let's see if I can keep it off this week. I'm having such a hard time keeping the fire going. I missed my workout this morning. I was up late last night. I'll have to squish it in this afternoon.

Weigh-in #40

No change in weight today. I'm extreamly grateful after my weekend birthday party binging. Three miles on the treadmill this morning. Just shy of 500 calories burned.

breakfast (298):
egg wrap (243)
1/2 c. OJ (55)

snack (160):
apple
string cheese

lunch (303):
1 slice wheat bread (90)
1 t. fat-free mayo (3)
1 t. cranberry (10)
1/2 c. shredded turkey (105)
small orange (45)
5 pecan halves (50)

This day started good and ended bad. That's all I'm gonna say.

breakfast:
protein shake (290)


zumba


snack (160):
apple (100)
reduced calorie string cheese (60)

lunch (377):
romaine (8)
broiled chicken (192)
3/4 c. mango-avocado salsa (137)
crasins (40?)

snack (300):
10 pecan halves (100)
Shared a frozen yogurt with Wrigley at a health food store while waiting for my car to be inspected (200???)

dinner (466):
Skillet Chicken Italiano (286)
garlic bread (180?)

1593. No room for FHE treat, and I had to take my vitamins with water instead of OJ : (

I slept in this morning. I stayed up too late trying to catch up on laundry.


breakfast (195):
cheerios (110)
honey (20)
milk (65)

lunch (475):
Southwest Chicken Salad (320)
dressing (50)
apples and caramel (105)

snack (280):
chocolate protein powder (100)
1 T. peanut butter (90)
small banana (90)

dinner (640):
2 slices leftover veggie pizza

1590 for the day. Now to scramble and get the house clean since I've been gone all day for the past two days before my mom gets here tonight.

I made it up at 6:00 this morning. Today was strength training day. Boy was I tired! Got to bed too late last night. I had to cut out the last set of my upper body exercises. I pulled something in my shoulder blade area. It hurts if I move wrong.


breakfast (398):
3 protein pancakes (283)
1 T. raspberry jam (50)
1/2 c. 2% milk (65)


lunch (520):
1.5 slices of leftover pizza


snack (130):
half a chocolate peanut butter banana protein shake


another snack (137):
string cheese (80)
nectarine (57)

dinner (233):
3 pear halves (66)
1/2 c. corn (67)
barbequed pork (100)

1418.

Chloe made me an unauthorized smoothie as a surprise for me. I drank some, not all, but it was probably enough to top me off for the day.

Weigh-in #39

I weighed in reluctantly this morning. Surprisingly I'm down 2 lbs. Let's see if I can remain disciplined enough to keep it off this time.


My workout was minimal this morning. I'm working on getting up at 6 am, which I did, but it took me a long time to make it down to the treadmill. Possibly because I kept dozing through my prayers. I had to cut my run short due to time constraints. So, including my warm up and cool down I was on for 30 minutes, 2 miles, and 300 calories. Not quite the prescribed 3.5 miles, but probably okay since my ankle is giving me trouble again.


breakfast (308):
breakfast burrito (243)
1/2 c. milk (65)


lunch:
Went out with hubby to Rumbi Island Grill. Had grilled chicken and shrimp over brown rice with tropical salsa, and a side Caesar salad. I can't find the nutrition info on it. It must have been a new or special menu item. I'd guess it to be 800+ calories going off of other things on their menu. Delicious. I could have not eaten the rice and saved myself probably 200 calories.


snack (137):
cheese stick (80)
nectarine (57)


dinner:
I probably could have salvaged the day after lunch's splurge. I ruined it with this meal. It was a crazy evening of 7 children running around, two of them crying babies. I gave in and ordered pizza. I ate three pieces and had two glasses of root beer. I'm going to guess 1000 calories. It got worse when my dad stopped by with cookie dough. I ate 6 cookies, I think, which is another 540 calories, IF my count is accurate.

So, to "celebrate" my two pound weight loss I ate like a pig, and the feeling of my pants finally fitting right that I had this morning has been exchanged for a folded over, uncomfortable waistband due to a bulging gut. Way to go me. It's like I forget about it during the day. Although, that's not really true. Because I think about it while I'm eating too much. I just seem to not care momentarily. I've got to get over that.

On another note, I went to the doctor today to discuss meds and blood work. My thyroid is off, I'm vitamin D, vitamin B, and iron deficient. My progesterone levels are low, and my testosterone levels are off. I'm a mess. And a pig. A big, out of control, pig.

breakfast (225):
Kashi with milk


1 hour of Zumba


snack (137):
string cheese (80)
nectarine that tasted like grass, disappointing (57)


lunch (385):
polish sausage (190)
bun (100)
apple (95)


snack (240):
chocolate, banana, raspberry protein shake

dinner:
biscuit topped chicken pot-pie (2 helpings, I don't know the calorie count)

FHE treat (166):
2 peanut butter blossoms at 83 calories each

1153 known calories. I'm betting I'm over quite a bit.

Someday I'm going to sleep through the night. Someday when preschoolers quit wetting the bed, and babies quit being sick, and preteens quit being in plays that I have to pick them up from late in the evening, I'll go to bed earlier and sleep the whole night without interruption.


No Zumba this morning. Baby is sick and ineligable for daycare. I'm sad to miss Zumba again this week, and sad for a sick baby. I'll have to get strenght training in sometime today.


breakfast (305):
Honey Bunches of Oats (160)
2% milk (65)
string cheese (80)


snack (144):
Kashi bar (120)
pear half (22)


lunch (260):
Hawaiian Haystacks minus the cheese, rice, almonds, I guess that makes it more of a soup (170)
1 slice wheat bread (90)


snack:
a big red apple

dinner:
Lots of Chicken Gnocchi soup
1 slice french bread
krispy kreme

date night treat (Is it really a treat if it pads your hips and clogs your arteries?):
Peanut Butter Cup Perfection from Coldstone

Oh night, thou art mine enemy...

Didn't make it up this morning. I'm starting to think its not in the cards for me to get to bed early. Chloe was up later than expected at her play, baby threw up again. Cadi wet the bed, baby woke up every two hours all night long... tired.


breakfast (318):
breakfast burrito (243)
4 oz. grape juice (75)

snack (245):

protein shake

lunch (373):

2 c. romaine (16)

carrot (25)

broiled chicken breast (230)

green onion (1)

green pepper (2)

celery (4)

almonds (20)

dressing (75)

I really need to plan my afternoons and evenings better. I didn't do well. We made snickerdoodles for scouts, and I ate a bunch. Dinner was a leftover rush to get people fed between crying baby and getting Chloe out the door for her performance. I ate half a ham sandwich, a couple more cookies, and a handful of candy. So healthy and calorie conscious... Not helping matters is that fact that I realized I'd forgotten my meds for a couple days. Stupid pills. Stupid that I need pills. I guess I should be thankful for them. They have their pluses and minuses.

I did manage to get my running in. 3.5 miles on the treadmill while watching Men's Olympic Figure Skating, free skate. Including my warm up and cool down it was 4.25 miles and over 600 calories. I'm running faster, longer. That's good. Now if I can just get the eating, and sleeping under control so all this exercise will do something other than my heart some good.

breakfast: (175)
honey bunches of oats w/ peaches (120)
1% milk (55)


snack (225):
vanilla protein powder (100)
banana (100)
strawberries (25)


*strength training workout*


lunch (493):
5 oz. broiled chicken breast (230)
2 c. romaine (16)
carrot (25)
1/2 c. apple (32)
1 T. craisins (20)
celery (4)
green onion (1)
1 T. walnuts (60?)
dressing (25)
string cheese (80)


snack (120):
Kashi bar


dinner (245):
1 serving Hawaiian Haystack gravy (82)
1/2 c. cauli-rice (15)
cheddar (65)
celery (4)
green onion (1)
tomato (8)
shredded coconut (13)
almonds (20)
1/2 c. fresh pineapple (37)


1258. No wonder I'm hungry, but I have room for an ice-cream treat : )

Weigh-in #38

Yesterday was a bust and today's weigh-in was not pleasant (gained another pound), but today is a new day. Now if I can just squish in a workout to make up for the alarm not getting set last night.


breakfast (266):
1 c. Kashi (190)
1/4 c. blueberries (21)
1/2 c. 1% milk (55)


lunch (640):
two slices leftover pizza, costly lunch

snack (200):
Kashi bar (120)
string cheese (80)

And it all went downhill from there. I had good plans for dinner, but my dad dropped by and brought dinner with him. Polish sausages, baked beans, corn, and doughnuts for dessert. And I did partake. I'm revisiting a dangerous mentality. One of, "if I slip a little I might as well blow it up that day," instead of, "oops I slipped, I need to be more careful." I'm making too many excuses to eat poorly. Too many allowances. I'm not looking forward to my workouts anymore. I really didn't want to get on the treadmill this evening, but I figured if I didn't It'd all be over. I've got to fix this mentality. It's hard to workout and not see results because I'm not taking care of the diet side of things. I've got to get myself off this plateau! I managed the prescribed 3.5 miles plus a little more including warm up and cool down. Just over 4 total.

Last week was a total bust as far as eating goes. Too many Valentine treats. Too many excuses to not eat the way I should. I did get my exercise it. In fact I had some really good exercise days. On Thursday I hit 5 miles (that included my warm up and cool down), and I ran at a 6 for most of it. Friday I went to Zumba, Saturday I ran again. Despite these good workouts, I fully expect the scale to reflect a gain again tomorrow.

I'm having a hard time with the eating thing. A friend said something that made me think about my attitude towards food, "It's not that you can't eat these things, you have to get to where you don't want to." It's true. I shouldn't want to. I need to adopt this attitude.

Here's hoping for a better week. I'm not off to a great start. Zumba was cancelled, and I didn't get up early enough to run because I was suppose to go to class. I'll have to squish it in somewhere.

breakfast (266):
1 c. Kashi cereal (190)
1/4 c. blueberries (21)
1/2 c. 1% milk (55)

lunch (434):
meatball minestrone (372)
nectarine (62)

I really don't feel like doing this today. I think I've reached a point where I've given up to some degree. I'm not where I want to be, I can't seem to stay at the half-way point even. I keep bouncing to it. I just want to eat brownies. Which is silly, because as delicious as they are, they don't make me feel better. And I end up eating half the pan or more. I need to develop that part of me that has control. I need to grow my spirit so that it's making the decisions and not my body. Ugh. If I can just get through this grumpy, gray, kids are home from school driving me crazy and all I want to do is lock myself in my room with a pan of brownies and a movie day.

snack (240):
chocolate protein powder (100)
1/4 c. frozen raspberries (40)
banana (100)

dinner (960):
3 slices Dominos veggie pizza @ 320 calories a piece

1900 for the day. Not enough room for one of the PB balls Chloe is making for our FHE treat.

Ugh. Ate bunches of peanut butter balls. Tomorrow is a new day right?

Weigh-in #37

Weigh-in day. Gained a pound. Not happy, but you are what you eat. Glad it wasn't worse. I did loose a bit in my thigh and hip measurements. Unfortunately my waist went up. Bad news for diabetes risks.

Ran 3 miles on the treadmill plus a warm up and cool down. Almost 600 calories. It was a tough run this morning. I looked at the numbers so many times. I tried to keep a faster pace.

breakfast (352):
2 egg whites/1 whole egg (103)
1/2 tortilla (80)
jack cheese (55)
salsa (5)
1/2 c. milk (65)
2 pear halves (44)

snack (240):
protein shake with banana, raspberries

lunch:
same as yesterday

dinner:
had a few bites of turkey, then went out with my UVMOM group to Brick Oven. Had a trip to the salad bar, two slices veggie pizza, and two slices garlic bread (ugh). Then we went out for ice-cream. I chose an extra small scoop of low-fat, no sugar added ice-cream. I'm sure the calories were blown anyway. I'm finding too many excuses to cheat on my diet, and its not even the Holidays anymore!

Ran for 40 minutes. Easy run. Iced my knee afterwards while I ate breakfast and read my scriptures. Trying to build the spirit while I re-build my body


breakfast (225):
1 c. Honey Bunches of Oats w/Peaches (160)
1/2 c. milk (65)


1 hour Zumba. Not on my game this morning. Probably because I'd already run earlier. I need to get another day of running in though. Three days is not enough to keep my endurance going, build up speed, or get my mileage to where I need it for 10k training. I can do it! I just need to adjust. Knee is holding up okay. I chose the low impact versions of some things. Problem is lower impact = lower intensity = few calories burned. Oh, well... I figure I've burned 800+ this morning. Good after last night's Super Bowl carb loading indulgence.


snack (240+):
protein powder (100)
banana (100)
1/4 c. frozen raspberries (40)
a couple bites of cinnamon roll
*shared some shake with the kids


lunch (296):
Mom's White Chili (105)
cheese (65)
salsa (5)
broccoli salad (121)


snack (40+):
mandarin orange (40)
a handful of 94% fat-free popcorn


dinner (338):
6 oz. grilled chicken breast (200)
1/2 c. peas (59)
1/4 c. rice (55)
1 c. fresh pineapple (74)

FHE treat:
1 gumdrop fruit slice (50)

1239+ for the day.

Knee still hurts. Skipped my run this morning so I could take my baby to the doctor. She has an ear infection.


breakfast:
banana (100)


snack:
cheese stick (100)


Zuma class.


lunch (530+):
Took the kids to McDonald's.
I got a Southwest Chicken Salad (320)
with half the dressing (50),
and a Fruit and Yogert Parfait (160),
plus about 10 fries (???)

dinner:
We went to the ward Valentine's Party. I ate a plate full of salads, tried two soups, ate two cookies and one fudgecicle (which, I was surprised to find out only has 40 calories). I danced and danced and played games. It was fun. I just don't know how many calories I consumed. Afterwards Stuart and I had ice-cream. I'm sure the calorie count on that is enough to ruin the whole week.

breakfast (305):
1/2 c. granola (240)
1/4 c. milk (32)
half a peach (33)


1 hour Zumbatoning.


snack (*240):
protein shake (100)
small banana mixed in (90)
2/3 c. frozen strawberries mixed in (50)
*shared it with the kids, so it probably saved me some calories.


lunch (347):
soft taco (307)
mandarin orange (40)


snack (260):
wheat toast (90)
1 t. PB (30)
peaches (80, probably less since I drain them)
herbal tea with honey (60)

Hurt my right knee somehow. grrr...

dinner:
I don't even want to know. We made breakfast; blueberry pancakes with syrup, sausage, eggs, milk. Probably 800-1000. ugh. What is wrong with me?

I was up really late last night so I didn't make it up for my run this morning. Which might be okay because I hurt my knees during my workout last night. My left knee started hurting while I was doing lunges. Only when I bent it. Now my Right knee is hurting even to walk. I guess from compensating for the left last night. I hope it doesn't last.


breakfast (303):
egg white breakfast burrito in half a tortilla (238)
1/2 c. 2% milk (65)


lunch:
leftovers from dinner last night (460)

dinner:
It was easily 1000 calories. I had Pack Night/Blue and Gold Banquet this evening, and although I skipped the hot dog, I had two plates of delicious salads of green and fruit variety (sounds healthy, but its not), a brownie and a large piece of cake. The fruit salad with the cookies in it was my favorite thing of the night. Mmmmmmm..... This calorie indulgence only gets worse since I opted not to run today to give my knee a rest, just in case.

Didn't get up this morning. I was up with the baby. She has a fever and gooey eyes. Poor baby!


breakfast (310):
frosted mini spooners (265)
orange (45)


Still hungry.

snack (200):
plain protein shake, yuck (100)

apricots (100)

lunch (318):

1/2 c. cranberry chicken (179)
1/2 c. peas (59)
pear halves (80)


snack (217):
small apple (77)
cheese stick (100)
a few M&M's (40?)

snack part 2 (150?):
half my kid's leftover PB&J, terrible of me!

dinner (460):
2 mini meatloaves (350)
1 c. steamed broccoli (30)
1 c. roasted squash (80)

What's dumb about the second meatloaf is that I wasn't even hungry any more. I just ate it because it was mine and I thought I had room in my calories. Now I'm over full, but finally satisfied for once, even if overly so, and over my calories. I need to work on getting better calories earlier in the day so I'm not so hungry all day long. 1655 for the day.

Weigh-in #36: Half-way There, Again...

I've gotten so use to not loosing that half the time I don't remember it's a weigh-in day when I first get up. I wasn't expecting anything today either. I'd quit hoping. Much to my surprise I've lost for the first time since the beginning of November! 2 pounds down! I'm not as excited as I'd expect. I think I'll be more excited if it's still gone next week. Here's to hoping it is.


Didn't make it up for my run this morning. I was up until 1:30 am "helping" Chloe with her History Project. I'll have to get it in at some point today.


breakfast (255):
frosted mini spooners (190)
milk (65)


lunch (352):
tortilla (150)
cheese (65)
lettuce (5)
tomato (8)
salsa (5)
taco meat (74)
small orange (45)


snack (190+):
Chocolate PB protein shake, not so great. I like the one I make with a banana much better.
Handful of White Chocolate popcorn

dinner:
I don't know how many calories I consumed. I had too many kids over to take the time to find out. I do know that I ate way too many. I made Turkey Pot Pie and had an embarrassing amount, with cranberry on the side. I don't know what my deal was. I was so hungry all day. Even after I ate a meal, I'd still be hungry. I'd wait for the next meal/snack time and the headache would start. I was good (except for the popcorn) until dinner, then it got the better of me. I did make it on the treadmill this evening. It was long. I picked a program that ended up being slow. It took me 45 minutes to hit my 3 miles. AND it was almost entirely hill. BUT it was 500+ calories. Time for a shower and bed. I still can't believe I lost 2 lbs. I hope it's still gone...

breakfast (255):
frosted mini spooners (190)
milk (65)


Only half-hour of Zumba due to the fact that I got pulled over on my way there. Expired registration. That's going to cost me. Not to mention the calories I didn't burn.


snack (200):
protein shake (100)
banana (100)


lunch (334):
1/4 c. rice. (51)
1 serving cranberry chicken (179)
1 T. peas (4)
1/2 carrot (20)
canned peaches (80, although I drained them so it's probably a little less)

snack (250ish):
apples and peanut butter

dinner:
We had soft tacos. I was too busy helping with homework and getting FHE ready to figure out the calories. I ate one and a half. Hopefully it fell in line.

FHE treat:
We made White Chocolate Popcorn. I think I ate two or three cups worth. Not calorie friendly I'm sure.

940 known calories. Hopefully not too many unknown.

breakfast:
I usually make something other than cereal Saturday mornings for the family. In an effort to use up leftover pumpkin that's been sitting in the fridge, I tried a pumpkin pancake recipe. I thought it was delicious. I don't know the calorie count, but combined with the sausage, I'm sure it was costly. Especially since I ate 2.5. I'd guess somewhere between 800-1000 calories on one meal! I'll have to be good the rest of the day. Wait- I just found the nutrition info on the pancakes 278 calories per serving (2 pancakes). Add syrup, milk... probably closer to 800 calories. I'm hoping to make it outside for a run this afternoon. It's still really cold, but the sun is out and the hubby will be home for a change. I am out the door!


lunch:
open faced tuna salad on wheat
2 pear halves


I'm not doing an official calorie count because I don't feel like taking the time today, but I wanted to track the food anyway.


What a beautiful day to run! It was so great to be outside. It was warm enough that I took my jacket off in the first mile. I made it up all the hills. The air was crisp, but not so cold that I could see my breath. The sun was warm on my back. It was great to hear the rhythm of my feet on the pavement. It took my breathing a bit to settle into a rhythm, and running outside is definitely different than the treadmill, but it was great! I don't know the official mileage, but I'd guess 4.


snack:
protein shake

dinner:
We went out to the Pizza Factory. I had a mini thin crust veggie pizza with chicken, a salad, bread stick, and two big glasses of Raspberry lemonade (which probably killed the calorie count). My stomach hurt by the time we got home.

pre-workout snack (200):
protein shake (100)
banana (100)


1 hour Zumba Toning


breakfast (255):
1 c. frosted mini spooners (190)
1/2 c. milk (65)


lunch (150):
chicken tortilla soup (95)
1 t. sour cream (10)
orange (45)


snack (200???):
mozzerella (80)
peaches (80?)
a bit of granola (???)

dinner:
I went to Bajio and had a yummy chicken salad. I don't know the calorie count, but I'll bet it was around 1000! I told myself I was going to skip the cheese, rice, and tortilla, but I didn't. It was delicious, but costly. Plus I had a few chocolate covered pretzels, probably 130 calories worth. That's about 6. Girl's Night Out was so great!

I was suppose to run this morning, but I was up until 2 am with kids and stuff. Plus one of them woke up early. I'm very tired.


breakfast (255):
frosted mini spooners (190)
1/2 c. milk (65)



snack:
2 pear halves (44)


lunch (290):
bowl of chili sprinkled with cheese (200)
1 slice wheat bread (90)


snack (330):
protein shake (200, although almost half of it went to the twins.)

I was still hungry almost 2 hours later so;

1/2 small apple (40)

1 T. P B (90)

dinner (516, shouldn't have had seconds)

Beef Bourguignon (306)

noodles (210)

1435, whew! I thought I was going to be way over after dinner's indulgence. I am so tired. I just want to go to bed. Skipping baths and everything else. Time for the kids to go to bed.

breakfast (415):
granola cereal with milk (305)
1/2 t. PB (45)
1/2 c. milk (65)

Not a lot of options this morning. The PB was just to get some kind of protein into my system. I have to go get groceries tonight. Everything is out!

lunch (775):
McDonald's Grilled Chicken sandwich (420)
french fries (195)
Fruit n' Yogurt parfait (160)

That was costly. I intended to get a salad, but couldn't eat that driving around. I did scrape the mayo off, so that probably saved a few calories. That leaves me with just over 300 calories for the rest of the day!

dinner (400):
1.5 servings chili with sprinkling of cheese (300)
1 slice of bread (100)

Ugh! I had it in my head that I had 400 calories left and not 300. I would have skipped the bread. 1590 for the day. Strength trained today.

Weigh-in #35

For once I was glad to see no change in the scale, as I was expecting nothing but increase. Miraculously I did not gain. I'm thankful. Now I need to step up my game.

breakfast (365):
1/2 c. granola (240)
1/4 c. milk (65)
herbal lemon tea with honey (60)

snack (44):
2 pear halves

lunch (317):
bowl of chicken tortilla soup (95)
corn bread (222)

snack (167):
small apple (77)
1 T. peanut butter (90)

dinner (345):
1/2 c. white rice (105)
1 serving Cranberry Crock-pot Chicken (179)
1/2 c. canned peas (61)

1238, no wonder I'm hungry, and feel a headache coming on. I still need to get my run in. Hmmmm... I need a 200 calories pre-workout snack. Ice-cream? Probably not the best idea, although it fits into the calorie opening. No. I won't eat ice-cream. I'm not going to ruin another good day, but a smoothie sounds good, but I don't have the stuff. I'll think of something.

snack (165):
mozzerella cheese stick (100)
raisins (65)

New Total: 1403

Hit my three miles and then some. Time for a shower and bed.

pre-workout snack:
small apple (77)


1 hour of ZUMBA!!!


brunch (275):
hard-boiled egg (70)
cheerios with honey and milk (205)


lunch (379):
ham and bean soup (200)
dilly bread (179)


snack (167):
mozzarella cheese stick (80)
1/8 c. raisins (65)
1 t. chocolate chips (22)


I was getting really dizzy every time I stood up, so a snack was necessary, I guess.


dinner (315):
bowl chicken tortilla soup (95)
1 t. sour cream (10)
4 tortilla chips (70)
2 quesadilla triangles (140)


1213. Yea! There's room for the snickerdoodles I made for FHE treat. Although their caloric content is unsure. I used powdered eggs because we were out of the real thing, and the directions vs. nutrition info seem off.

AARRRRG!!! I ruined a perfectly good day! I had room for a couple of snickerdoodles. I ate a couple, and a couple more, and a couple more, and before I knew it I noticed there weren't many left and so I did the math and I've eaten 15 cookies! That's a one and a five folks. 1, 5, 15, fifteen! Who eats that many cookies in one night? I feel awful. Mentally, physically, spiritually... ugh. Why am I so weak? Why can't I beat this addiction? It's easy. Just don't eat junk. I wish I could hurl.

breakfast (375):
1 c. 2% milk (130)
1 pancake (150)
1 T. raspberry jam (25)
scrambled eggs (70-ish)


Ooooh, the caramel corn sitting on the counter is tempting, but I'm still over bloated from last night's gorging. Must resist. I can do it!

lunch:

2 slices homemade pizza (I'd guess somewhere between 400-500)

I just found out that my caramel corn binge cost me 300+ calories per 1 cup serving last night. I don't even want to try and guess how many cups I ate!

I did eat the caramel corn. And we went out for Mongolian BBQ for dinner, which did not taste good, so it was really not worth the calories. Where's my moxie?

snack (205):
toast w/ jam (125)
apple (80)


Went to Zumba Toning this morning. Boy am I uncoordinated! Good fun, good workout. Will be a better workout when I can get the moves down and keep up. Viva Zumba!


breakfast (360):
OJ (140)
open faced egg mcmuffin (220)

lunch (379):
1 serving ham and bean soup (200, gotta love leftovers)
1 piece dilly bread (179)


snack:
fruit and yogurt parfait (160)

Only 400 calories left. Actually 396, but who's counting-oh wait! I am.

SABOTAGE!!! Self-sabotage! We decided to have a pajama party with the girls this evening. We made pizza, which I probably did okay on. Probably right around 400 calories, BUT I drank soda, so there's 300 calories, and THEN came the caramel corn. I told myself that I could have a little. Even though it would go over my limit, since it was a fun night with the girls. Why do I kid myself? I sat there with the giant bowl on my lap and scarfed a ton of it! I finally had to put it into another room so I'd quit. It gets worse, I ate more when I did the dishes and put it away. In fact, I purposefully waited to put the gooey stuff away after I did the dishes so I could snack on it in the meantime. I feel awful! Bloated and sick. My mouth has a "too much sugar" buzz. And yet I'd probably eat more if I came close to it. I am really disgusted with myself. Couldn't I make it two full days eating well? I was on track before dinner. These two days had left me feeling good. Hungry sometimes, but good. I felt like I was loosing weight. I felt healthier, more empowered, more confident. Having given in to the natural man, makes me feel yucky in more ways than physical. Bleh, way to ruin my good work out week. At least 1000 calories in caramel corn. At least!

breakfast (303):
2 egg whites/1 whole egg scrambled (103)
1 T. shredded pepper jack cheese (50?)
2 T. salsa (5)
1/2 flour tortilla (80)
1/2 c. 2% milk (65)

lunch (444):
1 serving ham and bean soup (200)
1 serving cornbread (222)
half a pear (<22) class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Grrrr...

snack (138):
1/2 medium apple (48)
1 T. low sugar peanut butter (90)

dinner (195):
1 slice white bread (100)
tuna salad (95)

RS Treat (350):
1 Krispy Kreme (200)
hot chocolate (150)

1430. Good job me! It's especially good since I forgot to take my Glucophage with dinner, and I have to eat with them. So, I've got 70 calories to take my pills with. I got my workout in late. 3.5 mile run on the treadmill, plus warm up and cool down. 4 miles overall, just over 600 calories burned. Wahoo! Time to take pills and hit the shower.

misc:
2 almonds (12)
peach half (50?)
slice of ham

Why I Need to Keep a Food Log (and Yesterday's Weigh-in #35)

There was no change on the scale yesterday.

breakfast (345):
granola (240)
milk (65)
peaches (40?)

lunch (817):
romaine/spinach (20)
1/2 apple chopped (50)
1 T. Crasins (20)
3 oz. broiled chicken (65)
candied walnuts (278 ouch! should have checked that before I ate it)
green onion (1)
dressing (25)
2 slices dill bread (358)

dinner (744):
1 1/2 servings Ham and Bean soup (300)
2 pieces of cornbread (444)

1906, and I thought I did well today. This is why I need to get back to writing it down. Trying to keep track in my head isn't working so well. Plus I think I'm allowing for extras. This is why the scale is the same as it was last week. This is why I've been at this weight since I hit it the first week in November of 2009. It doesn't feel pretty anymore. I'm exercising daily, but the eating is killing me. Time to get down to business.

Weigh-in #34

Okay, so it's probably really #35 or #36. I haven't been faithful in posting. I didn't update last week when I weighed in, so I don't know what the exact loss is, but I've lost a few from last week. Back to the point I was pre-flu. The top of the poundage I was bouncing in for a month or so. It's progress.

I'm Still Here

I'm not in stellar mode yet. I did exercise 5 of 6 days last week. Eating was more of a challenge. It usually is for me. I'm still in the lazy, easy to find excuses mind set. It's a process. I did a trial Zumba class on Saturday. I think I'm going to rearrange my running schedule to accommodate going twice a week. It was really fun, and I think I need a change of pace. As far as running goes, I'm not sure I'm ready for 10k training. I think I'll slow it down and stretch it out to a 16 week process, doing each week twice. Just 2.5 miles this morning was tough! Could be because I skipped my workout yesterday, and Friday, and instead of my long run Saturday I did the Zumba class. Who knows. I'll get there. It's just tough getting back into the swing of things. Swimsuit season is just around the corner. I'd be fun to feel comfortable enough to take my kids swimming this year.

My eating did not improve yesterday. This morning is not off to a great start either. I went to bed on time, but thanks to the twins, I was up a lot last night, and opted to sleep in until past seven this morning. Good thing its a cross-training day. That's much easier to fit in somewhere than an hour on the treadmill. Here's hoping to a better day.

I made it up for exercise this morning. 30 min. easy run. Managed to burn 400 calories, which is good because I've downed 2 cinnamon rolls to compliment my healthy egg white and salsa breakfast.

Starting Over, Again...

So, last week didn't go so well. I exercised three of six days. That's better than before, but my eating remained atrocious. The last two weeks have set me back two months in my weight loss and exercise goals. I've gained a bunch, and I don't feel good. I don't look good. Bleh. That darn food! Especially the sugar. All I can think about some times is cookies. All I want to eat is cookies. Mmmmmm... cookies. Will I ever kick it? The cookie habit. I have to run for 30 minutes to burn off one cookie. You'd think that'd be deterrent enough. Running on the treadmill is not my favorite, but it's cold, dark, and icy, not to mention the wind is incredibly fierce! Since running a 5k isn't as exciting or as motivating as it once was, I'm aiming for a 10k now. I've looked over several plans and organized one that I think I can do. It's not final. I borrowed the original plan from running-dot-about-dot-com . I just adjusted the days so I would have Sunday off. I plan to do strength training on the rest days. I may stretch this out into a 10 or 12 week plan. We'll see how it goes. I'm off my game, so it may take a week before I get into it. Especially since I have a lovely cut on my foot that could be problematic. I don't have a specific race in mind either, but I'm looking them up. Hopefully I'll be able to afford to enter one as they get closer. It's easier to exercise when I have a fitness goal and not just a weight loss goal. I can't believe how far I've set myself back in that area! or how quickly it happened! As far as weight loss goes, I hope to clear this set of 10's by Valentine's Day. Now if only I can keep all this at the forefront of my mind while I'm tired and craving things throughout the day.