I didn't get around to posting yesterday. It was a hard day for me. Not only was I still on the strep train, waking up to bare cupboards, a broken dishwasher, a non-working oven, and many other problems sent me into an emotional black hole. I felt so incredibly empty. I found myself wishing I could disappear into the floor I was laying on. It's been a long time since I felt so consumed by a seemingly never ending depression. Things just seem so hopeless at this point. I'm sure the lack in exercise is not helping my mood any.


yesterday's brunch:
a spoonful of eggs
bacon
burnt banana muffins (we tried to use the grill in place of the oven. Didn't work)
milk


yesterday's snack:
some crackers


yesterday's dinner:
some beef slop over rice (not yummy)
mixed vegetables
a few bites of jell-o

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I was unsure of how to proceed this week. I'm still getting over the whole strep thing, but I don't want to remain inactive any longer. It takes something like 3 weeks to make a habit and only three days to break it. It's been three days since I last ran. My resolve to change is already crumbling. I have the, "why bother?" attitude. My legs have been yearning for movement.


I set the alarm for 5:30 this morning and planned on picking up where I left off. I couldn't get up when it went off. I figure I still need rest or I'll just end up sick again. While nursing the baby this morning I mulled over my exercise options for the week. I'm disappointed in this set back. In the end I opted to ease my way back in, starting with a walk this morning. The plan is to walk for a day or two and add running in as I'm feeling better. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll be able to pick up where I left off and do the prescribed running for last Friday and Saturday. Then I'll be able to say I finished week 5 (that'll make the longest "week" ever).


I took my new route this morning. It was probably too long for my first day out, but I wanted that hill! I didn't worry about speed. I just wanted to be moving again. My knees were in open rebellion for the first mile. Then they tightened up and seemed to be glad for mobility again.


breakfast:
oatmeal with brown sugar
1% milk

lunch:
I finished off the kids PB&J on wheat (not good, I know, but there was seriously nothing else)

snack:
I think I ate a cracker
jello

dinner:
chicken tacos
pineapple

FHE treat:
we made no bake cookies. I thought I could just have one, but ended up eating 3, and really wanted to go for 4. I decided I'd better check myself before I rationalized all two dozen.

My throat feels significantly better this morning, but I'm still not tip top. It's a beautiful morning. I found myself envious of all the joggers I passed while taking Chloe to her dance rehearsal this morning. My throat felt good enough to eat this morning and I did. Too much.


breakfast:
a tall stack of blueberry pancakes complete with butter and syrup
1% milk

lunch:
leftover chicken parmigiana
salad

snack:
a few crackers

late night:
2 pieces of wheat toast with strawberry jam
1% milk
OJ

Sidelined!

I had a sore throat yesterday which got worse as the day wore on. Not better when I woke up, I went to see the doctor. Sure enough I've joined my kids in the fight with strep throat. So I guess I'm not running today. I'm really mad that I'm sick. One, because it's interrupting my training. Who knows how far it'll set me back. AND, I was really trying to overcome the slump this week's weight gain has put me in. Now I don't see how I'll loose anything. Plus I spent my last dime on stupid copays and antibiotics. I debated not medicating and just waiting it out in favor of buying groceries, but it turns out that untreated strep leads to pretty severe complications (rheumatic fever, heart problems...), so I bought the stupid horse pills and choked them down with some toast and herbal lemon tea. I SO want to go to bed and not take care of my kids today.

snack:
dried apples and bananas

dinner:
chicken parmigiana, mixed vegetables

I tried a new walking route this morning. I clocked it in the car before I walked and it was only a little farther than my usual route, but it gave me more trees, less houses, and a nice big hill to climb. The climb felt good in my muscles. I took the dog again. He couldn't hack it. About half way through he just sat down. He had to rest. He is a little dog I guess. He was still panting 20 minutes after we got home.

breakfast:
a BIG bowl of oatmeal and raspberries (gotta work on portion control)
1% milk


lunch:
a bite of this, a bite of that. I didn't really sit down for lunch, I just helped the kids eat theirs (PB&J, leftover chicken taco casserole)

dinner:
Stuart cooked a delicious dinner, fillet Mignon, and a salad

later:
OJ

Run breakdown for the day: run 13 min/walk 1 min, repeat 2x's, run 2 min/walk 1 minute run some more to hit 5k, then run a little more because you're almost at 500 calories and want to break it running.

Good run today. I was concerned for my knees when I first started, but all went well. I've added minor hip achy-ness (that is SO old lady) to my list of ailments. How exciting. Keep on trekking. Post running I discovered that I'm sick. Some kind of stomach bug is keeping me close to the bathroom. Fun for me. I wish I could take a shower and go back to bed.


breakfast:
despite having a stomach bug I was really hungry so I made baked oatmeal with raspberries. I probably ate too much of it, but it's oatmeal! How bad can it be?


snack:
2 orange slices


lunch:
roast beef and cheese on white, no mayo (this is getting really old)

snack:
carrot sticks
3 graham crackers (which I learned after I ate them, has about the same number of calories I worked off this morning. No more graham crackers)

dinner:
chicken taco casserole, which had WAAAAY too much cheese on it (and I had seconds :( loss of self control)
cut cantalope

later:
OJ

Weigh #6

I gained a pound. I think. When I first stepped on the scale it said I gained 2 lbs. I was so disappointed I stood there staring at the number glaring at me. I wasn't expecting much if any weight loss, but a gain? I stepped off and back on again hoping it would say something different. And it did. This time it said I'd lost a pound. So to make sure I stepped off and on again. This time it said I hadn't gained or lost. So I checked again. This time it told me I gained 1 lb. I figured I'd check until I got a number twice. That number told me I gained a pound.

I'm so disappointed in myself. It killed me to have to move my little jogger back on the weight ticker. I had been enjoying watching my weight tick downward each week. I feel yucky and sad. Really sad. I got too lax with the sugar rule. Baked beans are no good for the waist line. I need to amp up the fruits and veggies. I need to be more vigilant. I've done really well in the exercise department. I haven't missed a day. I'm continually pushing myself. So its gotta be the diet. I guess you have to be perfect. One bad week, a couple of bad days, that's all it takes. The funny thing is, I'm not feeling motivated to eat better. I'm feeling driven to drown myself in food. Bad food. Here's to eating healthier this week (of course that would be easier if my pantry wasn't empty. A trip to the store is sorely needed).

I was so tired I didn't hear the alarm go off this morning. I went for a walk after I fed the baby. I went farther than normal. Not sure If I was trying to make up for the weight gain, or combat the funk I've been in lately. I took the dog. He was annoying today. Pulling and yanking on the leash, peeing on everything, barking at passersby...

breakfast:
it's Chloe's birthday and she wanted to make crepes with strawberries and apple filling. Not a good start to the eating healthy regimen

lunch:
several bites of the chicken I was feeding the baby, a couple hours later I had a roast beef and cheese sandwich

snack:
Chloe opted to go out for snow cones in lieu of birthday cake today. I indulged in a child sized "cone". I tried a weird flavor, Lychee. Not my favorite. Stuart said it was absolutely disgusting.

dinner:
not a lot of option in the house today, roast beef and cheese again. This time I added sliced peaches.

I need something better...

Week 5 Begins

I actually got up on time this morning. 5am. I was slow moving. I'm exhausted now that I've finished my run; run 12 min./walk 1, repeat. Hopefully it helped counteract this past weekend's bad choices in eating. The t-shirt I threw on this morning happened to be one I've had sitting in my closet since I was a Mia-Maid. It's an old girls camp shirt. On the back it reads, "Decisions Determine Destiny." How appropriate. It's so applicable to everything. Maybe I should hang it up in my kitchen (and everywhere else for that matter). The baby is making noise. Guess I better go upstairs and run through the shower.

breakfast:
Honey Bunches of Oats (it wasn't even a full bowl. I emptied what was left in the box)

still hungry. Waffles are calling my name. Soooooooo tired...

snack:
fresh cut pineapple (combating those self induced sugar cravings)

lunch:
pulled chicken sandwich with cheese and pickles (there were lots of leftovers)
peaches

snack:
frosted mini wheats (those sugar cravings again)
a couple crackers later on

dinner:
leftover cheeseburger, beans, and pineapple