So, yesterday was a total waste. I was up really late the night before prepping for scouts, so I didn't get up in time for a run, and didn't squish it in later in the day because I was tired, and I'm trying get some house work done. I can't figure out how to do it all. Plus I finished off the goodies that were hiding. A gazillion calories I'm sure. I was already feeling bad about it, and felt even worse hearing my husband mutter under his breath about it.


Today's a new day. I was up late again sorting through clothes, trying to get everything rotated and take inventory before school starts (in three weeks). I went to my Zumba-toning class. I love it, but it kicked my bum this morning. Eating is another thing. I was so hungry when I got home I ate four blueberry-cottage cheese pancakes. Oink!

After eating so much, at a time that was closer to lunch than breakfast, I made the mistake of skipping lunch to make up for the calories. Plus I wasn't hungry. By dinner I was ravenous and ate accordingly. We watched a movie at a friend's house and I indulged on rice krispy treats, a cookie, and a handful of popcorn. Ugh...

I haven't been able to make myself sit down and record my food, much less my calories yet. I did okay eating yesterday. I kept myself from snacking, but my lunch had rice in it, and I ate too much bread at dinner. Not a good thing, but I didn't eat junk.

I went to pilates this morning. KILLER on the bum and legs today. All in the name of loosing the gut, and toning up those muscles.

So far, I haven't eaten the best stuff, due to lack of choice, but I'm keeping the proportions under control.

breakfast:
banana
scrambled eggs
toast

lunch:
PBJ
milk

Okay, diet's out the window today. My MIL brought a big plate of goodies leftover from their mission farewell. It's like putting scotch in front of an alcoholic...

Back Where I Started...

...almost anyway. I'm where I was 1 year ago next week. I year of hard work gone. All because I can't keep my eating under control. I'm waaaaay too close to 200 lbs. again. I never want to see that number again. Not for any reason. Including any potential pregnancy. I had gotten to the point where a size 14 was too big, but then it became tight, and now my 16's are snug. I have to get back on the ball before I have to drag the 18's out of the closet.

I've kept exercising, albeit, it's been inconsistent and lackluster, but I've been eating like a cow. I never did make 10k. I couldn't afford the entry fees this Summer, and kind of gave up. I was running about 4 miles every time I ran. I also played on a softball team this season, and I'm still going to Zumba and Pilates. I think I've become complacent. The size and weight I'd reached became "good enough" and I slacked off. I felt entitled to eat treats because I was working so hard. It's a drug. Sugar, I mean. There are days when I don't want to eat anything else but cookies. I'm suppose to be avoiding bad carbs and starches. That's why I'm on Glucophage, I have metabolic syndrome. It's a precursor to diabetes. I have to get my BMI down to 26 or I'm a total shoe in for the dreaded disease.

I quit writing, and keeping a food log because it's so time consuming, and sometimes life just gets in the way. I've been so busy with starting my own little business in an attempt to ease our financial famine. Add that to keeping up (barely, if at all) with 5 children, and trying to endure the stress and depression that comes with our current life circumstances, and it's just hard. I feel like I'm just falling through life. Food is hard too. Given our lot in life at the moment, I don't have much choice in the grocery department. What's available for our selection, is not the healthiest of choices. Not the most appetizing either, but I'm grateful to have something to feed my children, even as it expands our waistlines.

So, I'm making another attempt. No big, lofty goals at the moment, just to do what needs to be done every day. I went running this morning. Nothing big. Maybe 2 miles, but it was a good run. Now for the eating part of healthy living...